Fathertime Middle Child Mystery Bourbon by Jim Gaffigan
New parents are often told, "Children are like pancakes. You always mess up the first one." Really? I spend a lot of time with my children, and I’ve never thought, "This is just like making a pancake." Based on this Pancake Logic, a second or third child would be an improvement, right? Not if you listen to birth order conspiracies – I mean theories. According to those, the middle child has "issues" because they don’t receive enough attention. That’s concerning but also confusing. Wasn’t that middle child also once the supposedly spoiled, attention-soaked youngest child? Wouldn’t the middle child be the second non-messed-up pancake-child?
Like most parents, I would never ignore one of my children. Unless they were asking for a screen. Or money. Or if I was watching football. Well, despite all this birth order nonsense – I mean theory – I believe I give my middle child as much if not more attention than my other kids. She somehow even earned the right to be my phone’s wallpaper image – much to the dismay of the other pancakes. The middle child is often a mystery; but then again, so is most of parenting- which is probably why Jesus invented bourbon.
– JAMES CHRISTOPHER GAFFIGAN
Each bottle of Fathertime’s The Middle Child Mystery has been personally hand-signed.
FATHERTIMEPRECIOUS BATCH KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY
EMPTY NESTER STRENGTH
The Middle Child Mystery
This precious batch bourbon is named Fathertime, not after that bearded fella who is the personification of time, nor the special moments a man spends with his children but for the occasional brief period of peace and reflection every hard-working father earns.
Every order is expertly packaged with guaranteed authenticity and secure payments.
By adding this product to your cart, you confirm that you are 21 years of age or older. A valid government-issued ID (such as a driver's license, passport, or U.S. Military ID) will be required at delivery to complete age verification.
To ensure the highest level of protection during transit, items may be removed from their original packaging when necessary.
Shipping is available to physical street addresses; PO Box and APO addresses are not supported at this time.
Fathertime Middle Child Mystery Bourbon by Jim Gaffigan
New parents are often told, "Children are like pancakes. You always mess up the first one." Really? I spend a lot of time with my children, and I’ve never thought, "This is just like making a pancake." Based on this Pancake Logic, a second or third child would be an improvement, right? Not if you listen to birth order conspiracies – I mean theories. According to those, the middle child has "issues" because they don’t receive enough attention. That’s concerning but also confusing. Wasn’t that middle child also once the supposedly spoiled, attention-soaked youngest child? Wouldn’t the middle child be the second non-messed-up pancake-child?
Like most parents, I would never ignore one of my children. Unless they were asking for a screen. Or money. Or if I was watching football. Well, despite all this birth order nonsense – I mean theory – I believe I give my middle child as much if not more attention than my other kids. She somehow even earned the right to be my phone’s wallpaper image – much to the dismay of the other pancakes. The middle child is often a mystery; but then again, so is most of parenting- which is probably why Jesus invented bourbon.
– JAMES CHRISTOPHER GAFFIGAN
Each bottle of Fathertime’s The Middle Child Mystery has been personally hand-signed.
FATHERTIMEPRECIOUS BATCH KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY
EMPTY NESTER STRENGTH
The Middle Child Mystery
This precious batch bourbon is named Fathertime, not after that bearded fella who is the personification of time, nor the special moments a man spends with his children but for the occasional brief period of peace and reflection every hard-working father earns.
Every order is expertly packaged with guaranteed authenticity and secure payments.
By adding this product to your cart, you confirm that you are 21 years of age or older. A valid government-issued ID (such as a driver's license, passport, or U.S. Military ID) will be required at delivery to complete age verification.
To ensure the highest level of protection during transit, items may be removed from their original packaging when necessary.
Shipping is available to physical street addresses; PO Box and APO addresses are not supported at this time.
